so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
