this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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