i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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