it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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