Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
