somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
