it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize