If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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