true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
