dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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