Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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