Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
