if you like me you must not know who I am
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
