dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
