I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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