i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
