Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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