ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize