Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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