Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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