what day is it and did you see me today?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
