So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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