I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
