She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
