Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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