break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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