i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
