Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
