I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
