Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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