Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
