i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
