The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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