i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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