I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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