dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My dad just said "fuck circus"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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