i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
