butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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