Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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