it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
