If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
