Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize
