I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize