but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
of course. lets lasso hookers.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize