I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
