Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
