I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
