Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
