false alarm. still invincible.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
