today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
His nipple licking is glorious
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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