Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
