I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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