woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize