then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
