Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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