Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
