Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
