we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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