I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
