I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
