idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
40s are totally the cure
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
