I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
