Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
