I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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