loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
it's great music for shaving your balls
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i need some magic done to my vagina
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
